is it possible to do too many facial masks What’s the difference between problem-solving and rumination?
This week I had the opportunity to explore the issue myself when I found out that my utility somehow changed the account number and name on the bill sent to my home every month.In the first month of each month, I am confident and proud to pay the bill online, I just look at the amount due, enter the number, and then send the payment, after completing a chore, my hands are mentally Dusty.I don't know I sent that money to hell.Reality hit me when I got a notice on the door saying that the electricity would be cut off due to not paying the bill.A good friend will arrive soon in a week --A long visit-probably one without a hot shower-did not help me to panic.Even though it looks ridiculous, it's not easy to prove that you didn't call the power company or set up an account for your home address in the name of someone else.It is also not easy to obtain evidence of electronic payment to the company and payment on time.Take a few deep breaths and search for some files before starting to understand what's going on;A few more calls are needed to bring this matter to the attention of those who can actually do something about it.Even after I sorted out my ideas and took the first step in the solution, I still found myself experiencing this crazy accident incredibly.Think about a problem over and over again.Maybe we are desperately looking for a solution and thinking over and over again that the environment will produce a solution.Maybe we are rehearsing our campaign version in order to tell others later about the horror we have experienced.As psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky explains in her great book, the way of happiness, "over-thinking can have a series of bad consequences: it can sustain or aggravate sadness, weaken one's ability to solve problems, weaken motivation, and interfere with attention and initiative.Also, while people have a strong feeling that they know something about themselves and their problems when they think repeatedly, this rarely happens.What they get is a distorted, pessimistic view of their lives.”Problem-Including a goal.You pause, take a deep breath, plan the logical steps to take, and then take the targeted activities of those steps.Here are the steps to get you out of your thoughts and into problems --Workaround: focus on the goal: think this is easy?When you are frustrated, your goal may have shifted from achieving your goal to getting rid of your bottle --up frustration.This can lead to an innocent person venting emotionally and he may even try to help you.Solution: go to a quiet place and hit a pillow for a while when you wake up and remember what you originally wanted.List the steps to take: What information do you need and where can you get it?Maybe you have to have a paper trail like me to help with this.If the evidence involves a format in which you are not proficient-I am not a computer expert-search your memory bank, look for someone who is not skilled and ask for help.Do you know who will support you, provide information, or what do you need?Solution: take a few deep breaths and restore logic;Then plan your steps.Pay attention to the gap: sometimes you will start something like asking for information or help and there will be a time interval before you get help.Notice here: you don't have to think about this all the time during this time!It won't go away if you don't keep working on it (don't you want it to go away ).It's just time to sleep until the next step.Solution: Go to your "base camp."Build a base camp: the base camp is the place where you can retreat in order to rest and restore yourself before entering the wilderness of life again.Think back to all the good things that happened that day, no matter how small these things are.In my case, the same utility sent a repairman on the same day to make a scheduled adjustment to my stove.(The Left Hand clearly does not know what the right hand is doing.) If I need help from his volunteers in the future, he will leave his phone number to replace the filter.I need help and I will use this number gratefully.My doctor makes an appointment at 8.m.Amazing good results that day: low cholesterol and low blood pressure (OK, the 3 p change is a bit big)m., When the notification arrives ).I can be happy and even gloating when I look at the printed results.Amazing good things have happened and I can concentrate.I still have a hard time moving my attention away from this issue, but I do it by connecting with friends who support me and focusing on the creative work I do, not the story of my sadness.The problem will be solved in the next few days.The hot shower will continue.Life will continue, full of victories and setbacks.When these setbacks come back, as they inevitably do, it is a good idea to have a format to follow.