Intuitively, we all know that research tells us that we need companions in our lives to share our happiness and suffering.People who have no one to share tend to live a life with greater stress and lower health.Unfortunately, not everyone is the ideal partner for this sharing.If you feel worse after you have shared your message, it shows that person is not the healthiest choice.Here are the profiles of some people who are better off keeping silent, especially when you feel vulnerable due to loss or frustration.We all want to be useful to those we care about;When you read these descriptions, you may realize that you yourself sometimes fall into one of these categories as well.Then you can swear to be a better supporter of others.As a young dancer, I once fell down and hurt a small bone in my foot.As I lay on the floor, moaning, waiting for someone to take me to the emergency room, one of my classmates' mother came up and said firmly, "I don't think you'll ever dance again."It looks interesting now (I 've actually come back in four weeks), but at the time, she made my soul feel scared.Referring to the physical symptoms around a doomsday commentator, DS will tell you a brother --in-The law with the same symptoms turns out to be advanced cancer, so that's what you should expect as well.When it comes to a recent setback, DS will describe all the reasons why you can't reach this goal-you're too old, too young, too inexperienced, and under-experienced ...... DS can always find good reasons why you won't succeed and should not expect to do so.Hijacker (senior doomsday says): This is the man whose wound is bigger than yours.When you mention back pain, they themselves or their partner, mother, father, aunt Cora-someone-had a broken back and received a painful injection for six years, eventually disabling.Then their children die, they lose their jobs, their spouses leave them and they need to take care of them for the rest of their lives .......The hijackers described all of this in detail in at least 20 minutes, often rambling about other tragedies in their lives, completely ignoring your situation."This relationship will never succeed ...... You should see this."You really thought you would ......Win that prize, get that job?You can easily recognize futurists.They were very good at saying urgently, "Be careful!"Right after you hit your head.The Over-Creator: oozing out of pity, the face of the OS screwed in response to your pain and said "I'm sorry ".They may recite similar examples in the darkest way, telling you they know how you feel.The operating system may ask you, "How are you doing now ?"?"Remind you in a caring tone that you are marked as someone with a big problem that is easily seen by bystanders.The operating system may mean good, but you end up feeling like you're a victim, not a healthy mental state.The Bucker-Upper: This person tells you stories that are designed to inspire you to cheer up and do better, like "what?Do you think you're not doing well?Let me tell you ...... "Then went on to tell a story about a person who won the Nobel Prize and Olympic gold while fighting two serious diseases.Somehow this person does not inspire you to continue your life.When you are in pain, here are the people you really want to be around: the ideal listener is the one who stays calm and focused after hearing your story, and sometimes, it is possible to provide alternative explanations of what is happening to you, not the facts."I know that you feel bad now and that you feel blocked;Have you considered not sleeping much last night?Maybe after a good rest, you will have a better idea of what to do.Or, "Why don't you wait until you consult an expert (or a second expert) before you start to be so worried )."The ideal listener has an understanding of the law of minimalism: if there is more than one explanation for a given event, then the most likely and correct explanation is an explanation that contains the least assumptions.From tingling or frustration to complete disaster, there is no mental disorder in the meantime, which is a serious violation of the law.Stress is a big level: Regardless of IQ, education or other expertise, it will make us stupid for the time being.This is the impact of our stress on the future we imagine and predict, not what is actually happening now.We need to help get rid of this stupidity and go back to rational, intelligent behavior.This is the help we get from an ideal audience.You can be the ideal listener for others, and in doing so, you will train yourself to be calm, reflect, and respect the law of simplicity.
